Thursday, February 17, 2011

oh. my. god.


DOWN WITH TLC!!!
STOP WATCHING THIS SCHLOCK, PEOPLE!
the new season of programming has been released, and it carries on the high-moral tradition of the TLC family of shows.
seriously, your life is not so bad that you have to watch the following to make yourself feel better...

*Taxidermy USA: We've got shows about pawnbrokers, tattoo artists, and mall cops. Why not an hour devoted to families who stuff dead animals — including housecats? It's like Six Feet Under, but without the navel-gazing. (March 10.)

*Ultimate Cleaners: It sounds like a show about a laundromat, but it's actually the tale of the Douglas family, who make their living sanitizing filthy places: crime scenes, crack houses, sewage spills, Charlie Sheen parties. (March 20.)

*Heavily Ever After: It's like TLC's Little Couple, but with supersized lovers Freddie and Kay. Bonus: Freddie apparently likes to sing. (March 6.)

*Tiniest Tween: Kenadie's Story: TLC checks in again on primordial dwarf Kenadie, who's now 7 years old, weighs just seventeen pounds — and is facing early puberty. We are not making that up. (March 8.)

and don't forget my favorite...BABIES BEHIND BARS.
enough said.
a.

to read the rest of the heartwarming stories of TLC's sure-to-win multiple emmy programs...


i think my heart just died a little.

(image via vulture.)

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